did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
