just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
