So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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