he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
