I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
