Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
