So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
