How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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