My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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