Nicole vs. Life
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
