i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
