at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
