Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
