Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
