my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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