ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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