You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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