You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
