i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
