Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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