So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
