worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
