i don't like sucking hair
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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