I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
