You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
