Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
