you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
