I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
