im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
why is half of my head shaved?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
