Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
