Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
