is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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