mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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