Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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