is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
