Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
