I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
