It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
