Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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