I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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