There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize