Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
