So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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