I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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