my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
