The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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