somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
