i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize