Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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