when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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