He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
