guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize