Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
