Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
