he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize