i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
