wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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