yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
