Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
