yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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